Just because I can't explain it...

Leaving. Leaving at last.

How it unravelled at the end, to send me propelled towards you. Ripped the rug out from under me and ushered me out with desperation.
Spinning, from the journey it’s been. Forced to be present in the moment simply because the puzzle is too hard to put together. Too complex to piece together a coherent narrative. Just now. Just both joy and satisfaction, deep rest and satiety, and exhaustion. The urge to get out crawling on my skin. The longing for home. Still, the memory of that place, flowing through my blood vessels. The easy hours spent eating with an ocean view and floating through conversation. The hours and hours, lost in breath, body, stillness and heart. The quietness of the mind. The stretch and push and challenge of being asked to operate differently. And a small slender hand reaching up to take mine in an unconscious moment of closeness, despite the arguments, despite the odds.
What did I expect? I never did. I just followed my heart, packed up and came here. What do I leave with? Something unconceived, unarticulated, just gently packed up and carried forward into the next moment. It will leave me at will, only to return again in a moment of grace, when the conditions are right.
Leaving. Coming home. Walking into the next moment.
I lift my face to the rain, and inhale.


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